Winter Driver's...Classified

Let's just start this post off by saying that it's probably good to assume that there will be language.  Not a ton, but, it'll be there.  Cause I don't know many people who wouldn't make a sailor blush when they are driving.  But, I'm going to tone it down, like A LOT!!!!

Great, now with that disclaimer out of the way, let's get to classifying.  Right now, this is my world:

So, as I am taking my kids to school, this world of mine got me to thinking about the classification of winter driver's.  

I'm pretty sure that there are at least 4 main groups or classifications, of winter driver's.

The first driver is the "Holy Shit, is that a snowflake?" driver.  These drivers are often the ones who would lose a race to a snail the moment one little white fleck of what they think is snow lands on the ground.  They have heard of this mythological white stuff that is not quite frozen, not quite liquid, but their experience goes as far as the pictures of snowmen they saw illustrated in children's books.  Beware of the "Holy Shit" driver's.  If you get behind one, you're 45 minute commute (and that's with the extra buffer of bad winter driving condition you give yourself) is now an 8-hour commute.

The second class of driver is just your "Cautious Driver".  These drivers are seasoned Northerner's and Midwesterner's.  We grew up in the snow.  We know it is not some mythological phenomenon, but rather a reality we face 16 months out of the year, or at least it feels like it's 16 months.  A "Cautious Driver" usually compensates for the road based on driving conditions.  They aren't afraid to go faster than the "Holy Shit" driver, but they are seasoned enough to compensate for the conditions.  Sometimes they know 35 in a 50 is the ideal speed, and sometimes they know you can get away with a full on speed limit, maybe slightly over, even with packed snow.  They are continuously changing their speeds as they drive based on conditions, being ever leery of the multitude of other drivers on the road. 

The third driver is "4WD" Driver.  Now the "Holy Shit" and the "Cautious" driver's may both be in 4WD vehicles as well from time to time.  This is not their class, regardless of the type of vehicle they're in.  This is reserved for the moron's who are "Move over, I got 4WD".  They are the ones you see going 75 in a normally speeded 60 zone, but the weather says to go 25.  They don't care.  They'll pass you, maybe even blare their horn, because, you know, they have 4WD and can handle this shit.  Never fret though, this awesome driver is likely in a ditch 2 miles up the road because they were a bit too cocky with their 4WD.

And the final driver is the "Snow Plow" driver.  These are the state or town guys that you see driving, plowing our roads and sanding/salting them so we can get through.  As much as we should be thankful for their efforts in attempting to keep our roads clear, these drivers are the ones that ALL classification of driver's avoid.  Why?  Cause they will take you out.  Seriously, have you ever passed a plow truck going in the opposite direction who wasn't taking up his entire lane, as well as 3/4 of yours?  They rule the road during the winter and they are not afraid to run you off.  Move out of the way if you see this sucker.

In my house, I like to think of myself as the "Cautious Driver."  Although my husband would say I am the "Holy Shit Driver."  But, he is the "4WD Driver," and they think, unless you are another "4WD Driver" or a "Snow Plow", you are automatically a "Holy Shit" driver.  

And let me tell you about these "4WD" driver's.  They think other "4WD" drivers are the worst drivers too.  In fact, if you aren't them behind the wheel, well then you shouldn't even be on the road.  Cause ain't nobody a better driver than the "4WD" driver himself.

So, what kind of winter driver are you?  "Holy Shit", "Cautious", "4WD", or "Snow Plow"?

Worst Mom EVER Club!!!

Yes, you read that title right.  I am a member of the "Worst Mom EVER Club."  What, you never heard of it?  Then clearly you do not have a child.  Or at least not one that knows how to verbalize their ever growing frustration at your unwillingness to allow them to nearly kill themselves on a near constant basis.

This tale has been told for centuries.  Passed down generation after generation.  Knowing moms, aunts, sisters, and grandmother's nodding their heads in understanding.  They've been there...likely with you, or an all knowing sibling.

That is where I am at with my 6 year old son.  He is absolutely sure that I am positively the worst mom "EVER."  And, yes, he often speaks the whole sentence in a reasonable tone while he yells the "ever" for emphasis.  Just so I know about his vast experience with mom's around the entire world.

And, just so we are clear, in the life according to Corbin, I am the leader of this club.

We've all been there.  Our kids are attempting to do something dangerous, and we stop them.  Heck, it doesn't even have to be anything dangerous.  It could be just a simple no to something they want...an object, a task, food, the list goes on and on.  All of a sudden we are the meanest mom, which ultimately lands us into "The Club."

Today my crime was nothing so dire that Mr. Corbin would have perished had I allowed it.  But it was a breach of our established rules.

Ahhh, yes, rules.  We all have them.  Some of our rules are the same, like "we do NOT hit."  Some of them are different.  It's all a manner of different parenting styles, values, and beliefs.

We have a rule about video games.  This is one of those topics where every house has those rules, and they are wide and varied.  Some houses say absolutely no video games, end of story.  Some houses limit them.

I allow video games, but I limit them.  I limit them to only 1 hour of the day once a day.  If they play for less then 1 hour, oh well, they are given the opportunity to play for up to 1 hour once a day.  And Corbin being 6 has the added benefit of being required to also read a minimum of 2 books in order to earn this privilege as well (just the BOB books.  There is no reading of Tom Sawyer in order to play 1 hour of video games....although, hmmmm...just kidding).

This day Corbin read his prerequisite books and then some.  He also played his 1 hour of game time.  And he's at that age where he milks that hour.  My daughter, I can still get away with giving her the 1 hour and she is done after 10 minutes and is completely fine with that.  But not Corbin, he will play all of that hour and try to milk it for just. one. more. second. not. quite. finished. please. just. this. one....*sigh* "fine!!!!"

And sometimes, he tries to get tricky.  These are tricks that I'm not even supposed to realize are tricks.

He pulls out his BOB books on my Kindle and proceeds to read a full series of them.  I think there is like 6 or 7 of these books in a series.  And he reads them ALL to me.  I think to myself, how awesome is my kid, reading books on his own without any prodding from me, I have such an amazing kid.

Hahahaha, that's until I learn the real reason.

"Mom, can I play a game?"

It should come to no surprise, based on our rules, that I said no to this.

"Awww, but I read a lot of books."

When my answer continues to be no for the next five hours (well it was more like 10 minutes, but it sure felt like 5 hours) I was metamorphosized into the "Worst Mom EVER!!!"

The first time my son called me the worst mom, it broke my heart.  I was absolutely devastated.  I mean, I love that kid to my very core, and he is so upset about my actions that he has deemed me as the worst mom ever.

The more time goes by, the more I have to tell him no for one reason or another, the more he tells me, the more I realize I am doing it right.

So, if you are here, and you've been inducted into the "Worst Mom EVER Club", welcome!!!.  Grab yourself a glass of lemonade, or some wine if you prefer (I won't judge...Worst Mom EVER Club is a judgment free club), pull up a chair, and know that your newly found status is an indication that you're doing it right.  Congratulations!!!