The Lonely Life of a POS

POS = Pee On Stick in the world of fertile women for those who are curious. Why?  What did you think I meant when I was talking about a POS?!?!?!?

Here is the story of one random POS.  A Lonely POS.

As a 35 year old woman (damn it, ok, I'm really 34, but it's only a matter of technicality since my birthday is around the corner), with 3...yes, count that....3 young kids, I guess you could say, short of an "Oh crap!!!" moment, my kid baking days are over.  But, with that in mind, it wasn't too long ago that they weren't.  My kid baking days that is.  My youngest is only 1 year old.  Yes, yes, yes...I know..."awwwwww".  And he is totally awwwww worthy.

So, back to the non-existence of my kid baking days and my lonely POS.  So, my youngest is only 1, which means I was smart enough when I found out munchkin #3 was coming, I bought a multi-pack of those fun little POS.  My multi-pack included 2.

So, for the past 21 months I have had a lonely POS sitting in my underwear drawer.  It just sits there, waiting for the magical day that it will fulfill it's purpose in life.  And, it is a simple purpose in life, really.  It's sole purpose is to be peed on.  The answer it gives you, well, that is just the icing on the slice of cake...or maybe the entire cake depending on how you take the news.  This POS is unaware of my no more kid baking days.  He just knows that I used his brother 21 months ago, and KABAAM!!!! there's a new rugrat running around.

But I know.  I know that my kid baking days have passed me...you know, other than the minor apocalyptic "holy crap" that could potentially happen.  I mean, I can tell you now my kid baking days are over, and then...BAM!!!!  I'm sitting in the bathroom hugging the toilet while 3 kids hoover around me to see if moms really do get sick.

I digress...AGAIN!!!

So, my littlest is still nursing.  Which means I am often faced with these moments where I debate whether or not I am going to wait on the chance he wakes up..right NOW!!!!!!, pee right where I sit, or just suffer the wrath of a woken baby.  Today I decided to suffer the wrath.

As I am heading to the bathroom with a screaming child in tow I am diverted to my sock/underwear drawer.  I'm pretty sure I just got distracted by the fact that my feet were cold and I thought "oh, hey, how about some socks."  But, you know, I am not 100% sure.

So, I'm standing at my sock drawer, looking at the almost bare drawer thinking to myself, "man, how awesome would it be if my clean laundry migrated from my clothing baskets into my drawers?"  You know what I'm talking about.  Your clothes sit in a pile as well.  Whether they sit in a basket waiting to be folded, or more like rifled through until you find what you're looking for, or they sit somewhere folded.  They NEVER make it to the drawers.

That's when I spot it.  The POS!!  I am drawn to it.  Not because I think I'm pregnant, but because I feel this empathy for it.  Through the tired screams of my woken child (remember, I had to wake him lest I peed on the couch?) I hear the pitiful cries of the "Lonely POS".  He just sits there, staring up at me with this "when are you going to pee on me" look.

I made a decision right then and there.  I grabbed the POS and rushed to the bathroom as I instantly remembered why I was crazy enough to wake a sleeping child.

As a mother, it is my duty to make sure that I  help my children work on fulfilling their dreams, their purpose in life.  Like a mother to my own children, I am proud to say, despite my lack of child bearing days ahead of me, I was kind enough to fulfill the sole purpose of this Lonely POS.

Moral of the story:  Pee on the stick in your drawer....it was put there for a reason.

It's Me!!!!!

Every blog should have an introduction, right?  I'm not sure.  I'm just going to go with it and run.  Cause, hey, why not?!?!?

I always start blogs, but I never finish them.  I start them cause someone out there in blog world has figured out a way to use blogs to write random sh*t and get paid doing it.  And I'm all like "hey, I want on that gravy train."  But I never stick it out.

Why don't I stick it out?  Hmmm, I could say it's because I am a busy stay at home mom with 3 rascally monkey's...but, let's face it.  Almost every blogstress out there is a mother to one or more of her own wild mess makers that she seamlessly tames all while blogging about her latest pinterest craft, making money with said blogs, making a 4 course dinner meal, running errands, and just all in all making it look like the fact that I didn't forget to brush my own teeth today wasn't the immense milestone that it feels like.  The truth is, because I lose interest.  Nothing I could blog about to earn the cold hard cash holds my interest enough to make a go with it.  I'm like a dog who suddenly...

SQUIRREL!!!!!

Where was I?  Oh, yeah, blogging for cold hard cash.  Yeah, none of those topics hold my interest for long.  So, I am creating this blog, just this one, for the sole purpose of writing my randomness down.  Who knows, sometimes I may even host a random ramblings from one of my equally random munchkins...cause let's face it, kids say funny sh*t.  And what perfect way to immortalize the hilarious observations of a kid than through the internet?!?!

So, here it is.  My introduction.  I am Kim, Mom, Superhero Extraordinaire (as long as the pinterest loving, blog writing, immaculately manicured, pristine houses mom's aren't in the same room).